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WTF Friday: Episode 3

It's WTF Friday, Y'all! And I thought I would kick it off with a photo of myself.  Well, at least of a chick I can totally identify with this week. I hope it's a chick. 
Let's just say I have been having bladder control issues.  What with all the coughing, and laughing, and pregnancy goin' on.  I can't keep up with the laundry. I have resorted to wearing granny panties I took out of the package last year, looked at, and was like "Oh Hell Naw!".  Yeah, I'm down to those.  This may be one of the many contributing factors that I left out of my There Will Be No Sex In The Champagne Room post.   
Other awesome magoo I have been dealing with this week: my kid is a lunatic.  Seriously, this morning I actually did some research to see if his craptastic behavior is the result of some sort of weird lunar phenomenon.  Like maybe he's a werewolf, or maybe he's actually a she and is premenstrual at a very early age. Wrong on both accounts.  Poop.
 But he is a master at pushing my buttons.  I mean, I found myself scolding him in a freakin' Walmart, "HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHERE YOU ARE...?"  
I swear to God I heard someone laugh at me, like they were thinking the same damn thing I was at that very moment: This is a freaking Walmart, and you're making it sound like we're at The White House or something. Just be glad your kid has pants on.  So when I realized how stupid that sounded, I quickly followed up with, "You're in public." trying to get the point across that we don't throw ourselves on the goddamn floor pitching a fit in public.  Even if that public is a Walmart.  But by then the deed was done and my ego was bruised.  I realized that I had just been embarrassed by The People Of Walmart.  You really don't know you've hit bottom until you've had that epiphany.

I felt inferior to this!!  WTF?
 And to top it all off, I actually DIDN'T have heartburn last night, which meant I actually got to sleep.  Until I dumped a glass of water on myself at 3am like the mouth-breather I clearly am.  So, I figure I'll put on some leggings and a Macho Man Randy Savage shirt and go see if I can't find me some moving supplies at the Walmart, because I need to get out of here.


  1. I wet my pants this week. Sir is 3 mo. I dunno what happened!!! We need to hit up Walmart together. I'll wear my sexy pants.

    1. They have LOTS of granny panties. And sexy pants are good, as long as you can pull your thong up over the waist band. :)

  2. Peeing your pants and Walmart Shenanigans in one blog!? You have raised the bar, lady. And you made me laugh. Love it. You're awesome sauce.

    1. I know right? One classy Mutha right here ;)


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