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11/9/12

WTF Friday: Episode 3

 
It's WTF Friday, Y'all! And I thought I would kick it off with a photo of myself.  Well, at least of a chick I can totally identify with this week. I hope it's a chick. 
 
Anyway.  
 
Let's just say I have been having bladder control issues.  What with all the coughing, and laughing, and pregnancy goin' on.  I can't keep up with the laundry. I have resorted to wearing granny panties I took out of the package last year, looked at, and was like "Oh Hell Naw!".  Yeah, I'm down to those.  This may be one of the many contributing factors that I left out of my There Will Be No Sex In The Champagne Room post.   
 
Other awesome magoo I have been dealing with this week: my kid is a lunatic.  Seriously, this morning I actually did some research to see if his craptastic behavior is the result of some sort of weird lunar phenomenon.  Like maybe he's a werewolf, or maybe he's actually a she and is premenstrual at a very early age. Wrong on both accounts.  Poop.
 
 But he is a master at pushing my buttons.  I mean, I found myself scolding him in a freakin' Walmart, "HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHERE YOU ARE...?"  
I swear to God I heard someone laugh at me, like they were thinking the same damn thing I was at that very moment: This is a freaking Walmart, and you're making it sound like we're at The White House or something. Just be glad your kid has pants on.  So when I realized how stupid that sounded, I quickly followed up with, "You're in public." trying to get the point across that we don't throw ourselves on the goddamn floor pitching a fit in public.  Even if that public is a Walmart.  But by then the deed was done and my ego was bruised.  I realized that I had just been embarrassed by The People Of Walmart.  You really don't know you've hit bottom until you've had that epiphany.
  

I felt inferior to this!!  WTF?
 
 And to top it all off, I actually DIDN'T have heartburn last night, which meant I actually got to sleep.  Until I dumped a glass of water on myself at 3am like the mouth-breather I clearly am.  So, I figure I'll put on some leggings and a Macho Man Randy Savage shirt and go see if I can't find me some moving supplies at the Walmart, because I need to get out of here.


4 comments:

  1. I wet my pants this week. Sir is 3 mo. I dunno what happened!!! We need to hit up Walmart together. I'll wear my sexy pants.

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    Replies
    1. They have LOTS of granny panties. And sexy pants are good, as long as you can pull your thong up over the waist band. :)

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  2. Peeing your pants and Walmart Shenanigans in one blog!? You have raised the bar, lady. And you made me laugh. Love it. You're awesome sauce.

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    Replies
    1. I know right? One classy Mutha right here ;)

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